The Project Gutenberg eBook of The noble lord, by Percival Wilde

A secluded spot in the Maine woods in the neighborhood of a summer hotel. It is the middle of July. The trees are covered with foliage, a hot sun casts dancing shadows upon the mossy ground, and the air is full of the twittering of birds and the rustle of leaves. A winding path crosses from one side to the other, and near the center is a little clearing: the stump of a felled tree, with the lichen-covered trunk itself near it, and a patch of grassy turf. The eye cannot penetrate far through the riotously growing underbrush, but as one looks upwards, to the left, a thinning of foliage, allowing a glimpse of the sky, gives evidence of the near proximity of some small body of water.

As the curtain rises the scene is empty. There is only the song of birds, and the whisper of a gentle breeze. For a few seconds nothing else is heard. Then, suddenly, not far away, there is the sound of a splash, followed by the scream of a drowning woman, "Help! Help! Help!" There is a tremendous crashing through the underbrush, and another voice, very masculine, very English, shouts, "Where are you? Where are you?" Rather indefinitely the first speaker answers, "Here! Help! Help!" Another crashing through the underbrush, followed by a second splash, and presently, after a short pause, there enters upon the stage a tall, much bedraggled Englishman, bearing in his arms the motionless body of an extremely good-looking girl. Both of them are very wet, and a trail of water marks their progress across the scene. Reaching the clearing, the Englishman methodically deposits the girl on the ground, backs away a foot or so, and notices that his hands are wet. He reaches into a hip pocket and draws forth a handkerchief: the handkerchief is wetter than his hands. With a gesture of vexation he throws it away, and gives his attention to the girl. He looks at her quizzically; then, rather timidly, he kneels at her side, and lays his ear over her heart. He rises promptly with a satisfied nod, carefully removes his dripping coat, folds it neatly, and places it on the log. Again he kneels, this time with his knees on either side of the girl's head, and laboriously begins to apply the Sylvester method, counting audibly as he does so. At "ten" he stops wearily, pauses, and again applies his ear to her heart. The result is evidently pleasing, and after a few more Sylvester movements, he begins to vary the procedure by removing her shoes and alternately chafing her hands and feet. Presently she sighs deeply. For the third time he pauses to listen to her heart. Slowly and deliberately her left arm rises, to encircle his neck in a confiding clasp. He sits back on his haunches, politely surprised.

SHE. Ah! That's so nice. ( She pauses. Shudders. ) Hold me close, mother, hold me close. I've had such a terrible dream!

SHE. I dreamt—I dreamt— ( He has raised her to a sitting position. She stops abruptly. Looks about. ) Where—where am I?

HE. ( In a matter-of-fact tone ) We are about half a mile away from the Poland Springs Hotel, Poland Springs, Maine.

HE. I reached the hotel this morning. It was hot—beastly hot. I went for a walk in the woods.

SHE. I remember nothing—I'm confused. ( She tries to get up, but sits on the log with a little exclamation. ) My shoes—where are my shoes?

SHE. Will you help me? ( He assists her; she feels her clothes and exclaims ): Oh!

SHE. What a coincidence! How curious! How did it happen? ( She pauses. ) Oh, if I could only think! Think! ( He rises, and waits politely. ) Tell me: you must know.

SHE. ( Interrupting ) A splash! Oh, don't say any more: I remember! That horrible lake! Horrible! It was so warm at the hotel: I had gone off to the woods. I was sitting at the edge of the lake—on a rock—reading. I must have been sleepy. I fell in.

SHE. I sank—I sank, oh, miles and miles! It felt as if hands were trying to pull me down to the bottom! I screamed again—and then—then—I felt a strong arm around my waist—I was dizzy— there was a roaring in my ears—I knew no more.

SHE. And you—( rising to her feet enthusiastically )—you were the man who jumped in!

SHE. You saved my life! Oh, how can I ever thank you? My hero! ( She throws her arms about his neck. )

SHE. But it's not all right. I can never repay you! Never! Never!
Not if I live to be a thousand years old! ( She kisses him. )

HE. ( Taking up his coat ) It was by request. ( Takes cigarette case from pocket. )

HE. You said, "Mother! Mother! Kiss me!" ( Takes cigarette from case. Pleased to see that it is dry. Puts it between his lips. )

HE. I tried to explain that I was not your mother, but you seemed to know better. ( He throws the cigarette away. ) You insisted. I couldn't help it.

SHE. ( After a pause, coquettishly ) What do you mean: you couldn't "help it"?

HE. ( Nods ) There was no one around. It was the kind of an opportunity which does not present itself every day: life is so— monotonous. And you didn't seem to object.

HE. That's so. I am a man, with a man's tastes. And you begged me so hard—it was so inviting—well, I kissed you.

SHE. ( With her lips half an inch from his ) Really! ( A pause. ) Really! ( He does not kiss her. She gives it up. Sits on the log, drawing him to her side. ) You must tell me all about yourself. Just think: if it hadn't been for you, I would be at the bottom of the lake now. What a horrible tragedy that would have been: to die in such a way! . . . ( She pauses. ) It's natural that I should want to know something about the man who saved me from that. . . .

SHE. ( Lying with the insouciance of expertness ) I'm just twenty. ( He nods his head, without showing the least sign of disbelief. ) Eleven years between us.

SHE. ( Interrupting ) Lord Brookfield is a well-known man. The papers said he was coming to the hotel. I knew every other guest——

SHE. ( Laughing ) Odd, wasn't it? ( She rises. ) Ugh!—how my clothes are sticking to me!

HE. ( Does not answer for a few seconds. Then, a little abruptly ) Tell me: can you swim?

SHE. ( Staggered, but returning to the attack with magnificent self-possession ) Oh, but you swam splendidly! Clothes and all! All the way from the other side of the lake!

SHE. Of course you did! One plunge, and a few magnificent overhand strokes. . . . ( She notices his peculiar expression, and hesitates. )

HE. Let's see. ( He picks up his coat, and shakes it out. ) Of course, I might have swum, but—Ah! the water line comes only as far as the waist!

HE. Still, the matches are wet. ( Producing the box from his trouser pocket, and trying to strike one. ) You see?

SHE. ( With a forced laugh ) Lord Brookfield, don't deny that you saved my life!

HE. I jumped in without thinking. It was the natural thing to do: I heard you scream for help. But the moment the water came to my waist I knew that if it went any deeper I should have to call for help also.

HE. I was spared that humiliation: the pond isn't over three feet deep in any place. And I waded the whole twenty feet from one end to the other. . . . And I can't swim.

HE. It was pleasant while it lasted, wasn't it? And romantic!
Why, romantic doesn't begin to describe it! ( Imitating )
"Mother, kiss me!"

HE. Unconscious—helpless—and you didn't remember! Not even the shoes. That was clever—very clever! And the hands trying to pull you down to the bottom: that was the touch of genius! ( He pauses with a smile. ) Ah, well, I was willing to have a little fun. ( A man is heard whistling a popular song in the distance. He listens attentively. )

SHE. ( After a pause ) You played with me—played with me. Oh, you're disgusting! Revolting! What a thing for a man to do! I thought—— ( She breaks off. )

SHE. Nothing. . . . ( Then, seeing no reason to restrain herself. ) I thought Lord Brookfield was a gentleman!

HE. ( Leisurely ) I'm not related, you know, but I see a lot of him. We're thick—very thick.

SHE. Your insolence! Oh! ( She seizes the handkerchief which he has left on the log, and wipes her mouth furiously. )

SHE. ( Throwing it to the ground ) Oh, you coward! You. . . . You ( She sits on the log, inarticulate with rage. The whistle is heard again. )

HE. You understand me. ( He pauses; smiles. Then, in a Mephistophelian manner ): Your clothes are still wet, aren't they?

SHE. ( Going off ) You won't tell? ( He shakes his head. ) I'll remember you. ( She runs into the woods. )

HE. ( Sits on the log, laughs heartily. He produces another cigarette, and tries in vain to light it. Then, as an atrocious little cockney enters whistling gaily, he addresses him sharply ) Peters!

HE. Thanks. ( He blows a few whiffs into the air. Then stops, and surveys PETERS thoughtfully. ) Peters, you're a brave man, aren't you?

HE. That's not quite what I mean, Peters. . . . ( He pauses. ) Peters, you have the making of a hero in you. Something tells me that you're going to have your chance.

( There is a loud splash from the same direction as before, followed by screams of "Help! Help!" )

PETERS. ( Charges wildly into the shrubbery, shouting ): H'I'm coming! H'I'm coming!

THE CURTAIN FALLS

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The Project Gutenberg eBook of The noble lord

CHARACTERS HE. SHE. PETERS.

THE NOBLE LORD

THE CURTAIN FALLS

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE