Title : An Alphabet of Celebrities
Author : Oliver Herford
Release date : September 30, 2007 [eBook #22818]
Language : English
Credits
: Produced by Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
BOSTON
SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY
1899
COPYRIGHT 1899 BY
SMALL, MAYNARD & COMPANY
(INCORPORATED)
ENTERED AT STATIONERS' HALL
THE HEINTZEMANN PRESS
BOSTON U.S.A.
AN A LPHA B ETOF C ELEBRITIESOliver Herford |
|
'
S
A lbert Edward, well meaning but flighty,
Who invited King
A
rthur, the blameless and mighty,
To meet
A
lcibiades and
A
phrodite.
|
|
is for B ernhardt, who fails to awaken
Much feeling in
B
ismarck,
B
arabbas, and
B
acon.
|
|
is C olumbus, who tries to explain
How to balance an egg—to the utter disdain
Of
C
onfucius,
C
arlyle,
C
leopatra, and
C
ain.
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|
'
S
for D iogenes, D arwin, and D ante,
Who delight in the dance Of a
D
arling Bacchante.
|
|
is for E dison, making believe
He's invented a clever contrivance for
E
ve,
Who complained that she never could laugh in her sleeve.
|
|
is for F ranklin, who fearfully shocks
The feelings of
F
enelon,
F
aber, and
F
ox.
|
|
is G odiva, whose great bareback feat
Though
G
ounod and
G
oldsmith implore and entreat.
|
|
is for H andel, who pours out his soul
Through the bagpipes to
H
owells and
H
omer, who roll
On the floor in an ecstasy past all control.
|
|
is for I bsen, reciting a play
While
I
rving and
I
ngersoll hasten away.
|
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is for J ohnson, who only says "Pish!"
To
J
onah, who tells him his tale of a fish.
|
|
is the K aiser, who kindly repeats
Some original verses to
K
ipling and
K
eats.
|
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is L afontaine, who finds he's unable
To interest
L
uther and
L
iszt in his fable,
While
L
oie continues to dance on the table.
|
|
is M acduff, who's prevailed upon M ilton
And
M
ontaigne and
M
anon to each try a kilt on.
|
|
is N apoleon, shrouded in gloom,
With
N
ero,
N
arcissus, and
N
ordau, to whom
He's explaining the manual of arms with a broom.
|
|
is for O liver, casting aspersion
On
O
mar, that awfully dissolute Persian,
Though secretly longing to join the diversion.
|
|
is for P eter, who hollers "No! No!"
Through the keyhole to
P
aine,
P
aderewski, and
P
oe.
|
|
is the Q ueen, so noble and free—
For further particulars look under V
.
|
|
'
S
R ubenstein, playing that old thing in F
To
R
ollo and
R
embrandt, who wish they were deaf.
|
|
'
S
is for S winburne, who, seeking the true, the good, and the beautiful, visits the Zoo,
Where he chances on
S
appho and Mr.
S
ardou,
And
S
ocrates, all with the same end in view.
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|
is for T alleyrand toasting Miss T ruth,
By the side of her well, in a glass of vermouth,
And presenting Mark
T
wain as the friend of his youth.
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is for U ndine, pursuing U lysses
And
U
mberto, who flee her damp, death-dealing kisses.
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is V ictoria, noble and true—
For further particulars look under Q
.
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'
S
W agner, who sang and played lots for W ashington, W esley, and good Doctor W atts.
His prurient plots pained
W
esley and
W
atts,
But
W
ashington said he "enjoyed them in spots."
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is X antippe, who's having her say,
His prurient plots pained
W
esley and
W
atts,
And frightening the army of
X
erxes away.
|
|
is for Y oung, the great Mormon saint,
Who thinks little
Y
um
Y
um and
Y
vette so quaint,
He has to be instantly held in restraint.
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is for Z ola, presenting La Terre
To
Z
enobia the brave and
Z
uleika the fair,
Whose blushes they artfully conceal with their hair.
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This
Alphabet of Celebrities
written & pictured by Oliver Herford with a
border & initial letters by Bertram Grosvenor Goodhue and end papers &
cover design by E. B. Bird is printed for Small Maynard & Company at the
Heintzemann Press in Boston U. S. A. in the month of November
MDCCCXCIX