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THE
MONKEY’S FROLIC.
Our
tale is a true one, from which may be taught
A maxim for youth, with utility fraught;—
If terrors assail you, examine the cause,
And all will be well
;—for, by
Nature’s
kind laws,
Nor Goblins nor Spectres on earth have a station,—
These phantoms are all of ideal creation.
A
Monkey
, that comical tricks would be at,
His frolics one morning began with the
Cat
;
He chatter’d, as much as to say
How d’ ye do?
And
Puss
look’d her thanks, and politely cried
Mew
!
Pug
then shook her paw, and they sat down together,
Puss
washing her face, indicating wet weather.
But, mischief the
Monkey
inclining to harbour,
His skill he resolved now to try as a
Barber
.—
A soap-box conveniently lay in the room,
“Miss
Puss
,” he exclaim’d, “you’ll be shaved, I presume?”
Then scraping and bowing with grin and grimace,
Despite of resistance, he lather’d her face.
Now
Pug
could not find either razor or knife,
So
Puss
ran no hazard of losing her life;—
Yet razor or knife though they could not be had,
Pug
found what the terrified
Cat
thought as bad;
A knife made of ivory, in use to cut paper,
With which Barber
Pug
now proceeded to scrape her.
But
Puss
on a sudden deserted her station,
Disliking (no wonder) the strange operation,
And ran round the room without means of escaping;
While
Pug
, still determined to give her a scraping,
Pursued, and, regardless of struggle or prayer,
Fast bound her, at last, to the back of a chair.
When, tucking a napkin close under her chin,
Each mew of dismay he return’d with a grin;
And yelling and chattering they raised such a clatter,
That
Susan
rush’d in to learn what was the matter;
When
Pug
, overturning the chair midst the clack,
Ran off, leaving
Pussy
stretched out on her back.
The sight was to
Susan
so curious, that faster
She ran
out
than
in
, to tell
Mistress
and
Master
;
But, when they came up, neither
Puss
nor the
Shaver
Was there, to account for improper behaviour;—
For
Pug
had contrived, amid
Susan’s
alarms,
To reach the house-top, with Miss
Puss
in his arms.
Now fearing that
Pug
or Miss
Puss
might be maim’d,
“Go, fetch a long ladder,” the
Master
exclaim’d;
“And bring them down quickly both
Barber
and
Cat
.”
“Oh, oh!” thought the
Monkey
, “I
sha’nt suffer that
.”—
The ladder was climb’d by a servant so valiant,
But
Pug
with loose tiles soon repulsed the assailant.
Against all manœuvre apparently proof,
Pug
chatter’d and paced to and fro on the roof,
And fondled the
Cat
, and next, pitying her case,
He wiped with the napkin the suds from her face;
As nurse would a child, then he held her out
so
,
While all the spectators kept laughing below.
Now seeing him thus to good humour inclined,
They thought he might prove more pacific of mind,
So mounted the ladder another assailer;
When
Pug
, of loose tiles now perceiving a failure,
Eluded the grasp of pursuit with a hop,
And gained an adjacent and tall chimney-pot.
It chanced that the vent of this same chimney led
Direct to a chamber, confined to his bed
Where lay an old gentleman, ill with the gout,
And wishing some bad fate might thence drag him out!
Pug
, missing his footing, ’midst vapour and fume,
That instant with
Puss
tumbled into the room.
Grimed over with soot, they kick’d up such a rout,
And caper’d the sick man’s apartment about,
And chatter’d and squall’d in a manner so hideous,
Like young imps of darkness, that, not to be tedious,
The sufferer forgot both his gout and his prayers,
And scamper’d, pursued by these phantoms, down stairs!
There sat in the parlour a medical man,
And thither
pursued
and
pursuers
now ran;—
And
Puss
and the
Monkey
grown fiercer and bolder,
Physician and Patient seized each by his shoulder,
Who raised such a yell, that the
chorus
resembled
A legion of mad-caps from Bedlam assembled!
The tumult each wonder-struck inmate alarm’d;
At length on assistance they ventured, well arm’d,
And entered the scene of dismay and despair,—
When, lo! no invaders of quiet were there!
But Doctor and Patient lay stretch’d on the floor,
Not wotting of terror a forthcoming cure.
The incident soon was of mystery clear’d,—
The owner of
Pug
and
Grimalkin
appear’d;—
“My
Monkey
and
Cat
have created alarm;
I hope,” he observed, “you have not taken harm:”—
Then cautiously peering the chamber about,
He dragg’d, from the Chimney, both intruders out.
Alarm now gave way to good humour and fun,—
“Much harm to my friend,” said the Patient, “is done;
Your
Ape
pill and potion has put to the rout,
And cured me, I thank him, at once of the
Gout
.”
He then to the
Monkey
made reverence profound,
Who
salam’d
politely the company round.
The
Doctor
a lesson thus learn’d, that, despite
Of physic, the Gout may be cured by a
fright
:
And, since this affair, now and then on the sly
In similar cases same means he will try.—
To show that no malice or envy he knew,
He shook hands with
Pug
, and each party withdrew.
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