The Project Gutenberg eBook of Punch and Judy, by Thomas A. M. Ward.

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.

PREFACE.

The Invention of Puppet Shows, Tumbling and other public amusements, carries us back to a period in history long anterior to the birth of Moses .

In fact, Games of Chance, as well as the sports and pastimes usually enjoyed in their Plays, by the early people of Egypt, were in their zenith in the reign of the Rameses .

The "Sacred Library," which Diodorus mentions, has been discovered in his Palace, the Rameseum at Karnak.

Nine men of learning were attached to the person of this King, and at their head was a certain Kagabu , as "Master of the Rolls," (Books) a man "unrivaled in elegance of style and diction."

From the pen of this master, who may have helped to train the mind of Moses , the King's adopted grandson, in "all the learning of the Egyptians," we still possess the oldest Fairy Tale in the world, a moral story, resembling that of Joseph and his Brethren, composed for the King's son Meneptha, who afterwards became the opponent of Moses, at the time of the exodus of the Jews from Egypt.

Our object is not so much with the antiquity of shows, as it is directly with the introduction of " Punch and Judy " into polite society; in proper character, free from superfluous verbiage, and dressing the play in phraseology commensurate with the progress of the age—good taste and refinement.

The performance of Punch in the streets of European cities, unpurified of the vulgar colloquies put into his mouth, by the man who works the Puppets, would not for an instant be tolerated by the people of this country.

[pg 4] "The Play of Punch and Judy ," observes a writer in Harper's Monthly , "was exhibited for a short time at a popular place of amusement in New York City, in 1870, but did not take sufficiently with the audience to induce the managers to go on with it."

The true cause of its failure, at the time, doubtless arose from the vulgar and impure language, used by the fellow that worked the Figures.

Where the little Puppets have been properly conducted, the popularity of the show has been unbounded.

With the assistance of Mr. Cruikshank's admirable illustrations, it may be made the medium of the most amusing whimsicalities. We are told that so grave and dignified a personage as an English Secretary of State is certain to be, once paused on his way from Downing street to the House of Commons on a night of important debate to witness the whole performance.

INSTRUCTIONS.

How to Perform the Puppets.

The Frame should be three feet long and two feet wide: there should be a space of 16 inches high, between the stage, on which the Puppets perform, and the top of the Frame, corresponding to the ceiling of a room, from which a little curtain hangs and in all particulars resembling a miniature theatre, with small wings on the sides, like the scenes in a large theatre, and a curtain in front to drop, or slide across the stage, at the end of each act, is necessary. Immediately above the stage is a small stick running across the top, from which a small fringe hangs, in the style of a curtain, between this fringe and the top of the stage, is a space of 16 inches, for the Puppets to perform.

The hight of the stage, or floor on which the Puppets move, from the ground upward, must be regulated by the hight of the person performing the Figures: the stage, therefore, should never exceed two inches higher than the head of the person who stands behind it, inside of the Frame. This will enable [pg 5] the performer to rest his hands on the back part of the stage without being seen by the audience. Without this relief for the hands to rest on, he could not be able to continue the movement of the Figures to any length of time.

On one end of the Frame (the stage part) is a small socket, in which the end of a movable gallows is fixed.

The whole of the Frame is covered outside with thick cloth, to conceal all that may be done on the inside.

Three bags hang in front of the performer—extending across the Frame; and on the right and left hand sides, are four more pockets—two on each side—making seven altogether; about six or eight inches deep.

In these pockets are placed the little Wooden Actors. Punch and the Doctor , occupy the same bunk. Judy , with her child, and the dog Toby have a bunk to themselves. The Constable and Jack Ketch , room together. The Negro and the Devil have separate berths.

Punch is always held by the showman's right hand, his head is wood of course, and should be five inches, allowing two inches for the length of neck would make it seven inches long, five inches from the neck to the top of the head, with a hole, for the finger to rest in, three inches deep. Into this little hole in the head fits the showman's fore finger while his second finger fits into Punch's right hand, and the exhibitor's thumb sets in Punch's left hand. Thus, by the aid of the exhibitor's fore finger and thumb, Punch is enabled to wield the club he carries with such consummate dexterity.

Judy is held by the left hand and managed in the same way: thus, when the exhibitor has Punch and Judy ready to commence the show they are said to be well mounted.

How to make the dresses and to dress the Figures.—The dress of each Puppet is a gown fastened around its neck about thirteen inches long, on to this is sewed the coat, shirt, vest and pantaloons. Inside of the gown the showman thrusts his hand for the working of the little Actor—described above. [pg 6] The Punch Puppet, has a big belly and a haunch on his back between his shoulders, which gives him the appearance of the Lord Mayor of London.

The Play opens by the appearance of Mr. Punch who calls Judy to his aid. Here commences the dance by Punch and Judy , who bow to the audience, then to each other and at the sound of music move off in the dance.

It is not necessary that the feet of the Puppets should be seen, consequently they are seldom brought into view.

The person inside the Frame when dancing the Puppets, must go through all the capers he wishes the Figures to perform; and as he is entirely concealed from view, he can be just as funny as he pleases; and in proportion to his comic actions will the little Actors appear to the audience.

And strange as it may seem should the exhibitor fail to carry out these instructions, namely: of moving his body, so as to correspond with the motions he wishes to give the Figures, the dance of Punch and his wife would be flat—without fun or any interest whatever. Therefore, remember and fail not to put in all the comic points, (motions) for in this lies the secret of giving life and merriment to the Punch and Judy Show.

Act 1. Scene 1st.

( Punch — is heard below with a loud squeak: he makes his appearance from the wing on the right hand side of the stage dancing and singing. Enter Punch .)

Punch. —Good day little people—how do you do? The funniest man I ever saw was old Joe Miller . But the smartest chap among them all was Jack the Giant Killer .

The biggest thing on the ice is an Elephant—he is not a pretty bird—and never travels without a trunk. The Pig is a smaller bird—somebody shot his feathers all off.

( Judy answers from below. ) I am coming darling. ( Enter Judy .) Judy. —Mr. Punch , did you call me?

Punch. —I should think I did—had you been here sooner [pg 7] you would have seen the man that lived in the "House that Jack built."

Punch. —I only saw one side of him—that is why I wanted you here—you could have stood on one side, and I on the other, and then we could have seen the whole of him at one time. He was orful!

Judy. —Mr. Punch , you are such a funny man: now let us have a nice little dance.

Punch. —With all my heart. ( They join hands—bow to the audience—then to themselves and step off, keeping time with the sound of the music. )

Judy. —Mr. Punch , I am going down stairs to bring up the Baby. ( Exit Judy .)

( Punch — continues to dance—a negro comes up slyly behind him and hits him a heavy blow on the side of his head, and before Punch gets a glance at him, darts out of sight. Punch scratches his head, looks about the stage—seemingly much perplexed—but is soon relieved by the appearance of Judy with the Child . Enter Judy with the Baby .)

Judy. —Mr. Punch , here is our own little darling: you hold the child while I go down in the kitchen and prepare dinner—mind you—don't you slap or pinch it, to make it cry. ( He takes the Child. Exit Judy .)

( Punch sings ) "It is good to be a father," etc. ( He tries to make it sit up—the Child cries—he again sings. )

Oh, you little tu-te-tutes—pretty bird, sit up. ( He takes it in his lap and tries to make it sit up. ) The baby want he mamma? yes, he does. ( He becomes impatient at the noise of the Child. ) If you don't stop I'll give you a good spanking. ( Throws the Child up and catches it. ) Catchee, catchee, catchee! ( Child continues to cry and Punch getting angry throws it out at the window. ) He! he! he! ( laughing and singing )

Judy. —( Looking around and not seeing it. ) Where have you put it?—is it in the cradle?

Judy. —I'll drop you on the floor—depend upon it—where is my stick? ( Exit Judy .)

Punch. —There she goes—three feet three inches and a chaw tobacco high. ( He sings ) "there was an old woman who lived in her shoe—shoe—shew!"

( Re-enter Judy with a stick; she comes in behind him and hits Punch a square blow on the back of the head before he is aware. )

Punch. —So-o-oftly— Judy my dear so-o-oftly! ( rubbing the back of his head with his hands ) don't be a fool!

Judy. —You'll drop my poor child out at the window will you? ( hitting him continually on his head. )

Judy. —You cruel man—you think it is a joke do you—it is no joke with me to have my poor dear child beat to death! I'll show you how to use a child. ( Hits him. )

Punch. —Very well my lady; now comes my turn. ( He snatches the stick from her, and strikes her on the head while she runs about to different parts of the stage to get out of his way. ) How do you like that? old gal, and ( hitting her ) that?

Judy. —Mr. Punch , you ought to be ashamed of yourself to strike a woman! a helpless woman like me—get out with you.

Punch. —If a horse kicks me I'll kick him back if I can—if a dog bites me I'll bite him — you take that ( hits ) and one more [pg 9] ( hits her again—she falls to the floor; Punch is alarmed. ) No, no; I won't hit you again. Judy ( he lifts her up ) don't cry—let's make up and never quarrel again! ( He kisses her, Judy puts her arms around his neck and lovingly forgives him. )

Punch. —No never! now my dear go down stairs and take care of the baby—you be good to me and I'll be good to you. ( Exit Judy . Punch sings )

Judy. —Well now since you are in such good humor let us join in a nice little dance.

Punch. —Of woman kind I do admire but one and you are she my dearest dear, therefore it shall be done. ( They bow to the audience, then to themselves and dance off: Punch singing the tune and both keeping time to the music. Exit Punch and Judy .)

( Enter Doctor and Servant .) Doctor. —He is not here ( to the negro ) Joe , you go through the house—find Mr. Punch and tell him I want to see him.

Punch. — Dr. you are a good fellow. Come and see me some time when I am not at home.

Punch. —I will not be outdone in liberality—I will throw off the other half!

Punch. —( Looking for his stick—the Dr. flies for his life. ) Lucky for you old chap or I would have made a pill of you.

( Enter Miss Polly Hopkins .) Polly. —How do you do sir? I am looking for the man who lived in the house that Jack built.

Punch. —( aside ) Oh, good gracious what a pretty girl: in the language of Shakspear, I am the man.

Punch. —Yes, ( aside ) how on earth did that little girl learn my name? My little daughter, there are said to be one hundred rooms in my house—but I never could find but ninety—where the other ten are I never knew. But there are about one thousand big Norway rats who live in this house—run riot all night and don't pay no rent. Three days ago I wrote on a number of pieces of papers for the rats to leave—one of these papers was put in every rat-hole in this house.

Punch. — I don't hear no noise for two days —I think they are making up their minds to seek homes elsewhere.

Punch. —Oh, yes, bless you, I made a pot-pie of big fat rats but I could not eat it. I never did like rats any way you can cook them.

Polly. —Mr. Punch , 'mother says you are my grandfather's great uncle—when I was a little child you promised me a dollar!'

Punch. —I remember it, that was six years ago. ( He sings and dances. ) It is nice to be a father. ( Punch puts Polly through a course of spelling. )

Punch. —No. Now I want you to spell sugar. ( She tries [pg 11] and fails. ) Follow me my child—now, s-u-g-a-r. ( She repeats the letters but fails to tell what they spell. )

Punch. —I'll not forget it—now, Polly , follow me—( he proceeds and she repeats ) m-i-l-k—what does that spell?

Punch. —No it don't: What do you get in your little mug every morning, when you go round the corner, for your mother?

Punch. —That will do, now go to bed. That child is more than seven years old! He starts Polly off to bed and as she makes her exit, she exclaims , Uncle, don't forget the dollar!

Act II.

Joe. —Yes sah, I know him—he can't fool dis child: ( looking about him he espies Punch ) dah he—dah he is! Dat him—dat's ole Punch .

Punch. —Here's a pretty brace of ducks. ( The Policeman at the sight of Punch's stick, sneaks off unseen by the negro, leaving poor Joe all alone with Punch .)

Joe. —Moses in de mountain—you don't catch dis child. ( Exit Joe . Punch lies down on the stage and while watching [pg 12] for the darkie falls asleep. Joe slily crawls up to him and plants a fearful blow on the right side of Punch's head; and suddenly dodges out of sight. Punch , springs up but too late to get a sight of his enemy, he conceals himself behind the scenes and remains on watch. Joe slily crawls up to his side of the stage and conceals himself behind the curtains. But Punch sees him and crawling over unseen, on his hands and knees, to Joe's corner, returns for his club—as before—returns and hits the negro an awful blow and flies to his own corner. )

Joe. —You nasty ole turkey nose—I'll catch you yet—I'll put hot lead in your ear. ( Joe hides behind the curtain. )

( Punch crawls over to Joe's side again and deals him two blows in rapid succession. Joe falls down and Punch , supposing the fellow to be dead, throws him over the stage; and then sings,

( Enter Blind Man : at the same time an Irishman from the opposite side of the stage. )

Irish. —Sure, and how should I know that? troth I would rather see than be blind—it is an unlucky counthry—this that makes a man go blind before he gets hungry—bad luck to the day I left Ireland. ( Exit Irishman .)

Punch. —( Leading him to an old well. ) Now, here is a level place, let me see how far you can jump—there's a half a dollar for you.

Punch. —Stick to it old fellow—keep the thing going and I [pg 13] will go for assistance. ( He starts off, singing. )

Act III.

Frank. —Leave off your singing, Mr. Punch , for we have come to make you sing on the other side of your mouth.

Frank. —That is all gammon: I know you well enough; I had a pretty hard fight with you once.

Punch. —I always like a man better after I have fought with him. Who sent you here?

Ald. M. —You are wanted at the Mayor's office. Col. Wood says you once killed a Policeman in Chicago.

Punch. —I was dancing by myself and the fellow came up behind me and knocked me down—if you don't believe it, I can show you how it was done.

( Punch hits him a heavy blow on the side of his head and suddenly makes his exit. )

[pg 14] ( The Alderman and the Constable conceal themselves behind the curtains and remain on the watch for their enemy. )

Frank. —Yes, one wants to be on his guard. He is as quick as lightning, but we must take him—cost what it may, and we have got to do it before he reaches the engine house, on the corner of 10th and Filbert street, the firemen are all friendly to him—so are the children of the city.

( Punch is heard from below; the parties quickly conceal themselves behind the curtain and await his approach. Enter Punch singing. )

( At this part of the play the Alderman and the Policeman spring up behind him and after a hard struggle they pin him in a corner, and finally carry him off, while he lustily calls out, "Help! murder!" etc. End of Scene I. )

SCENE II.—The curtain rises at the back of the stage, and discovers Punch in Prison.

( Jack Ketch enters with a gallows on his shoulders. He fixes it on the platform of the stage, and exits. )

Punch. —There goes a hang-dog looking fellow whom they doubtless keep to feed hogs—the fellow's face resembles a side of sole leather, with a slit in it which he calls a mouth.

Punch. —Hello, there goes two scoundrels—body snatchers. What grave have they been robbing?

J. K. —I wear a mask because I am the public executioner. [pg 15] It was my ancestor who cut off the head of Ann Bowlin, Catherine Howard, Lady Jane Gray and Mary, Queen of Scots, and now I am going to execute you—for killing the Dr.'s servant.

Punch. — Jack , the old devil will never get all that is due him, until he gets you in his bony arms.

J. K. —That's all bosh: your time is nearly up. I want you to put your head into this halter and I'll give you the best swing you ever had.

Punch. — Jack , if my head was in that rope, I would not take it out, but, as it is out, I'll never put it in.

J. K. —Mr. Punch , be a good fellow—you are a considerable burden to me and I want to get the load off my hands; oblige me by being hung, here is the noose, just put your head in here.

Punch. —Through that place there? ( Pointing to the noose. ) I don't know how.

J. K. —It is very easy: only put your head in that loop,—here,—take the noose.

Punch. —What so? ( Poking his head on one side of the noose then on the other side. )

Punch. —Mind, who you call fool: try if you can do it yourself: only show me how it can be done—old pestilence and I'll try.

J. K. —Very well; I will, you see my head and you see this loop. Put it in, so. ( Putting his head through the noose. )

Punch. —And pull it tight, so! ( He pulls the body forcibly down, and hangs Jack Ketch .) Huzza! huzza! ( Punch takes down the corpse and places it in the coffin. Enter two men who remove the gallows and then carry away the coffin containing the body of Jack Ketch and exit. )

[pg 16] Punch. —There they go; they think they have got me in that coffin. ( He sings )

Punch. —( Much frightened, and retreating as far as he can. ) Oh dear! oh Lord! What is that? That's old Nick, sure enough. ( The Devil comes forward. Punch stands on the defensive. )

Punch. —Keep off, Mr. Devil . ( The Devil advances ) Look out for your eyes. ( The Devil darts at Punch , who escapes and aims a blow at him: the Devil eludes it, as well as many other blows which Punch aims at him, laying his head on the platform, and slipping it rapidly backward and forward, so that Punch instead of striking him, only repeatedly hits the boards. Exit Devil .)

Punch. —He, he, he! ( laughing. ) He is off: He who runs away will live to fight another day.

( Punch alarmed by hearing a strange, whirring noise, like that made by a spinning-wheel, retreats to the corner of the stage. )

( Re-enter the Devil , with a stick. He makes up to Punch , who retreats round the back of the stage, and they stand eyeing one another and fensing at opposite sides. At last the Devil makes a blow at Punch which tells on the back of his head. )

Punch. —Take care of my head! What is that for? Old boy, can't we be friends. ( The Devil hits him again. Punch now begins to be angry. ) Well, if you won't be a friend, we will be enemies, now, old Devil . I take the chances in this contest, your head or mine, we must try which is the best man Punch or the Devil .

( Here commences a terrific combat between the Devil and Punch . Compared with which the fight between the French and the Prussians, if you leave out the guns, was more than boy play. In the beginning, Punch has much the worst of it; but, at length succeeds in planting several heavy blows in the small of the Devil's back. This weakens the old Father of evil, and towards the conclusion Punch drives his enemy before him. The Devil stunned by repeated blows, falls down, when Punch kills him; and putting him on his shoulder carries him round, exclaiming ,) Huzza! huzza! the Devil's dead.

Transcriber Notes:

Throughout the dialogues, there were words used to mimic accents of the speakers. Those words were retained as-is.

Errors in punctuation and inconsistent hyphenation were not corrected unless otherwise noted.

On page 3, a quotation mark was added after "Master of the Rolls,".

On page 6, "bigest" was replaced with "biggest".

On page 8, "Punch where's that child tell me quickly" was replaced with "Punch, where's that child? Tell me quickly"

On page 11, a comma was added after "Uncle" in two instances of "Uncle, don't forget the dollar".

On page 12, a closing parentheses was added after "and exit."

On page 14, "and exit" was replaced with "and exits".

On page 14, a period was added after "Mr".

On page 15, a comma was added after "Not so".

On page 15, a closing parentheses was added after "and then sings,"

On page 16, a semicolon was added after "There they go".

On page 16, a period was added after "stands on the defensive".

On page 16, a comma was added after "Keep off".

On page 16, a comma was added after "Old boy".

On page 16, a quotation mark was removed after "Huzza! huzza! the Devil's Dead!"

On page 17, "dentrifrice" was replaced with "dentifrice".

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH AND JUDY, WITH INSTRUCTIONS HOW TO MANAGE THE LITTLE WOODEN ACTORS ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org . If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”
• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.
• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.
• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate .

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org .

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

The Project Gutenberg eBook of Punch and Judy, with Instructions How to Manage the Little Wooden Actors